What Would Make The Sports World Better?
While I was checking ESPN's website (something that I don't do too much these days), I came upon a page 2 column written by Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons about 33 things that would make the sports world better. Of course, it was mostly wrong, but it got me thinking: what really would make the sports world better?
So in the spirit of the history of popular music, I am going to rip Simmons' idea and create my own list based on his template (By the way, when I say in the spirit of popular music, I mean the ENTIRE history of it. It always amazes me when rock stars complain about rappers sampling their work, but you didn't hear a peep out of them when they were ripping off black artists 40-plus years ago to create their "classic" sound..well that's another piece for another time I guess).
So here it goes:
1. A network rises to compete with the "MTV of Sports" ESPN.
2. If Michael Kay, Rudy Guilaini and John Sterling didn't use those Men-In-Black memory eraser devices at the recent groundbreaking for the new Yankee Stadium. I remember when I was in junior high listening to Yankee games on the radio (when the Mets weren't playing) and hearing the aforementioned three bash The Bronx and push for The Boss to move to Manhattan. Now, they're there for the groundbreaking...wow. (Somewhere YES Network paychecks are being cashed...or put in direct deposit)
3. Barry Bonds DOESN'T go to jail: Enough of the witch hunt folks. Nothing is going to happen. He beat everyone at their own game...LET IT GO.
4. The New York Knicks become a consistent playoff team (America needs a team to hate). Speaking of which...
5. The rest of America shuts the hell up about New York/East Coast bias: You complain about all of the attention that NYC gets, but when a team is struggling or just plain sucks (i.e. The current Knicks, the Mets before 2005), the rest of America piles on the ridicule. You can't have it both ways.
6. Allen Iverson will have a separate entrance during the annoucing of the starting line-ups. He will walk in to Styles P's "I'm Black." Why? Because it would just be funny.
7. Billy Crystal loses his voice
8. LEAVE A-ROD ALONE
9. The Sonics stay in Seattle
10. Roger Clemens retires (I know that he is one of if not the greatest pitcher of our generation...but enough already)
11. Every sports radio show is hosted by either Colin Cowherd or Max Kellerman.
12. The NBA season starts...whenever we say so.
13. People realize that NBA players (and a lot of people for that matter) could care less about the Olympics. And I believe that it's a GOOD thing.
14. Boxing becomes a major sport again.
15. Eliminate Horse Racing
16. Women tennis players will get paid the same amount of money as men do during major tournaments...after they start playing the same amount of sets.
17. Lebron James retires as a Cavalier.
18. Kobe Bryant wins an NBA Championship.
19. Ralph Wiley and Dick Shaap were still with us.
20. Everyone realizes that college sports (or any so-called "amateur" sport) should NOT be on television. If there's money being made, give the actual players a slice of the pie.
21. The Detroit Pistons P.A. announcer is replaced with Mel Gibson.
22. No Yankee/Red sox post-season matchups for the next 15 years. Speaking of which...
23. People catch on to their own hypocrisy and prejudice when they notice themselves calling baseball brawls "boys will be boys" situations and NBA fights as "thuggish" and "a black eye for the league." They will also notice the hypocrisy and prejudice behind the treatmeant of the Duke lacrosse team's unfortunate situation and the St. Johns basketball team accused of sexually assaulting a dancer in Pittsburgh a year or so ago. But I digress...
24. Charles Barkley shuts the hell up. I love you sir Charles, but enough is enough.
25. Baseball writers don't have so much pull over who and who doesn't go to the Hall of Fame. It should be a combination of writers, current hall of famers and people who have worked in baseball for a long time.
26. No more conversations about "today's athlete." The athlete of today is the same as it was yesterday and the day before that. It has never changed and never will. The difference between now and then is more money, more exposure, bigger business.
27. Stephon Marbury "dies a Knick." (hehe)
Well, there you have it. My list of things that would make the sports world just a little bit better. I welcome diffrering opinions, but just realize that you won't win. Until we meet again...
So in the spirit of the history of popular music, I am going to rip Simmons' idea and create my own list based on his template (By the way, when I say in the spirit of popular music, I mean the ENTIRE history of it. It always amazes me when rock stars complain about rappers sampling their work, but you didn't hear a peep out of them when they were ripping off black artists 40-plus years ago to create their "classic" sound..well that's another piece for another time I guess).
So here it goes:
1. A network rises to compete with the "MTV of Sports" ESPN.
2. If Michael Kay, Rudy Guilaini and John Sterling didn't use those Men-In-Black memory eraser devices at the recent groundbreaking for the new Yankee Stadium. I remember when I was in junior high listening to Yankee games on the radio (when the Mets weren't playing) and hearing the aforementioned three bash The Bronx and push for The Boss to move to Manhattan. Now, they're there for the groundbreaking...wow. (Somewhere YES Network paychecks are being cashed...or put in direct deposit)
3. Barry Bonds DOESN'T go to jail: Enough of the witch hunt folks. Nothing is going to happen. He beat everyone at their own game...LET IT GO.
4. The New York Knicks become a consistent playoff team (America needs a team to hate). Speaking of which...
5. The rest of America shuts the hell up about New York/East Coast bias: You complain about all of the attention that NYC gets, but when a team is struggling or just plain sucks (i.e. The current Knicks, the Mets before 2005), the rest of America piles on the ridicule. You can't have it both ways.
6. Allen Iverson will have a separate entrance during the annoucing of the starting line-ups. He will walk in to Styles P's "I'm Black." Why? Because it would just be funny.
7. Billy Crystal loses his voice
8. LEAVE A-ROD ALONE
9. The Sonics stay in Seattle
10. Roger Clemens retires (I know that he is one of if not the greatest pitcher of our generation...but enough already)
11. Every sports radio show is hosted by either Colin Cowherd or Max Kellerman.
12. The NBA season starts...whenever we say so.
13. People realize that NBA players (and a lot of people for that matter) could care less about the Olympics. And I believe that it's a GOOD thing.
14. Boxing becomes a major sport again.
15. Eliminate Horse Racing
16. Women tennis players will get paid the same amount of money as men do during major tournaments...after they start playing the same amount of sets.
17. Lebron James retires as a Cavalier.
18. Kobe Bryant wins an NBA Championship.
19. Ralph Wiley and Dick Shaap were still with us.
20. Everyone realizes that college sports (or any so-called "amateur" sport) should NOT be on television. If there's money being made, give the actual players a slice of the pie.
21. The Detroit Pistons P.A. announcer is replaced with Mel Gibson.
22. No Yankee/Red sox post-season matchups for the next 15 years. Speaking of which...
23. People catch on to their own hypocrisy and prejudice when they notice themselves calling baseball brawls "boys will be boys" situations and NBA fights as "thuggish" and "a black eye for the league." They will also notice the hypocrisy and prejudice behind the treatmeant of the Duke lacrosse team's unfortunate situation and the St. Johns basketball team accused of sexually assaulting a dancer in Pittsburgh a year or so ago. But I digress...
24. Charles Barkley shuts the hell up. I love you sir Charles, but enough is enough.
25. Baseball writers don't have so much pull over who and who doesn't go to the Hall of Fame. It should be a combination of writers, current hall of famers and people who have worked in baseball for a long time.
26. No more conversations about "today's athlete." The athlete of today is the same as it was yesterday and the day before that. It has never changed and never will. The difference between now and then is more money, more exposure, bigger business.
27. Stephon Marbury "dies a Knick." (hehe)
Well, there you have it. My list of things that would make the sports world just a little bit better. I welcome diffrering opinions, but just realize that you won't win. Until we meet again...
posted by Stephon Johnson @ 7:05 PM
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